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Friday, August 15, 2008

Is it my fault???

Is it my fault that I have been diagnosed with a chronic disease? Is it my fault that I got a dreaded disease on to the family tree? Is it my fault that I cannot contribute to the family finances because of my health issues? Is it my fault that I cannot be as involved or as attentive to my kids as I would like to be because of the way my medications make me feel?

Is it my fault that I have Parkinson's? Is it my fault that I am unable to keep my eyes open because hey I am the lucky one and I have this rare side effect of PD that makes me unable to keep my eyes open?

Guilt is everpresent, makes it worse. I try to tell myself it's not my fault. But I wonder why me when I look at my beautiful, wonderful kids. Why them? Why should they see their mother unable to walk, why should they know about doctor's visit at such a young age, why should they live with the thought with the knowledge that their mom is not well?

Why me???
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