There was an error in this gadget

Thursday, October 24, 2013

Bleeding Heart

As I dam my river of tears
with a smile
a smile that
hides the pain

A bleeding heart I am
taking on others pain
commiserating
understanding
compassionate
empathetic
honest
straightfoward
Am I an oxymoron
or maybe just a moron

Empathy
comes natural
complaining
does not
Naivete
comes natural
Deceit
does not

No one
can imagine
depth of fear
i keep caged
in my heart

the recriminations
the consternation
the despair
the helplessness
the hopelessness
the degradation
the demoralisation

cos
A bleeding heart I am
taking on others pain
commiserating
understanding
compassionate
empathetic
honest
straightfoward
Am I an oxymoron
or maybe just a moron

 Thoughts of the future
I usually see thru rose
colored glasses
but they seem to
have been smudged a little
by that darn Parkie
Parking into my life

slowly but surely
eroding all the positives
adding all the negatives
slowly and sleathily
took my handwriting away
took my beautiful penmanship
and turned it into squiggly lines

Greedy Parkie
even took my
ability to speak properly
me, who was a chatterbox
now refuse to talk to
people on the phone

Confidence turns to
Under confidence
Talkative turns to
Quieter
extrovert turns to
introvert
once life of a party
has no life to party

but hey enough
with the moaning
groaning
foaming
lamenting
snivelling
ranting

cos
I still want to see the sun
feel the caress of the wind
feel the raindrops on my face
enjoy the wildflowers

and yes
even if I cannot be a whole
atleast do not want to be a hole

so as much as i can be
a daughter to my parents
a sister to my brother
a partner to my spouse
a daughter-in-law to my in laws
a parent to my babies
a friend to my friends


in my own little way
I strive to be that
May not win any accolades
but try my best
to be the best i can  be
given all the constraints
cos I tell myself
I CAN DO IT:)))