Friday, August 15, 2008

Is it my fault???

Is it my fault that I have been diagnosed with a chronic disease? Is it my fault that I got a dreaded disease on to the family tree? Is it my fault that I cannot contribute to the family finances because of my health issues? Is it my fault that I cannot be as involved or as attentive to my kids as I would like to be because of the way my medications make me feel?

Is it my fault that I have Parkinson's? Is it my fault that I am unable to keep my eyes open because hey I am the lucky one and I have this rare side effect of PD that makes me unable to keep my eyes open?

Guilt is everpresent, makes it worse. I try to tell myself it's not my fault. But I wonder why me when I look at my beautiful, wonderful kids. Why them? Why should they see their mother unable to walk, why should they know about doctor's visit at such a young age, why should they live with the thought with the knowledge that their mom is not well?

Why me???

Wednesday, August 6, 2008

Grand Parenting

Saw an article on this and thought I would write about my experiences. First of all, a heartfelt thanks to my in-laws and my parents for being the epitome of unselfishness by putting their lives on hold to help us and our siblings bring up our children:)
Right from when my oldest ,who is 8 and a half now, was born till he was 3 we have had either my parents or my in laws visiting from India and spend several months, putting their lives on hold and grand parenting. Yes they lived with us and yes there were tense moments but I always look at the big picture - the kids get to spend quality time with their grandparents, get to be spoilt and yes most importantly learn fom them just like we did.
And we get to bond with parents in a different way - as adults and being able to disagree with them, sharing experiences, being able to tell them what is on your mind .makes you feel the comfort of childhood.
But let me warn you that you need to be flexible too. You need to be open to ideas and suggestions. You don't have to follow it because you as a mom know your kid the best. Of coz it also depends on your relationship with them. If you have a strained relationship, well you are better off with day care:) Relationships are complicated at best and adding more to the mix - well as I say it all depends on how you deal with it.
It is so easy to blow up, have a confrontation but to what end? Mine mostly has been a positive experience. I would love to hear your thoughts;)