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Tuesday, February 26, 2013

Parenting

What a roller coaster ride it is being a parent...emotions turbulent, heart squeezes, protective instincts on high alert, Need to let go, want to hold them tight, need to let them fall, but you feel the pain of every scrape with them, want to protect them from the world, the nastiness, the feeling of utter helplessness, when u see the tears well in their eyes, your heart cries with them, as u try to be strong for them, as I realise that really the best we can do, is teach them to be the best human being, to make the right choices and wait with bated breath and a thudding heart, hoping, wishing and praying that they remember that in the time when u are not around to protect them...Yes Parenting is the hardest, yet most fulfilling job around, that lasts a lifetime:)))

Wednesday, February 6, 2013

DreamCatcher


As I look around myself
at the glittering shards
surrounding  me
fragments of my dreams
shattered by things
beyond my control

I had held on to them
for the very longest  time
immersing myself,
in my vision that I had
trying my very best to
convey that to the dream  merchants

They who held the power to turn
my dreams into reality
busy creating glittering visions for else
wait we'll get back to u they say...

But ....but my heart stammers
u do not understand....I have
limited time and I need to...
I tried telling them about the uninvited
thing in my body....

Oh u poor thing they say, pity oozing
then they shrug and continue their way
they do not see, do not have the time to see
my desperation, my passion, my belief, my vision
as like me, they are countless others
clamoring for their attention...
I am but a mere speck

Little do they know....
the battles I waged
the terrors of my mind that
I fought valiantly
the sneers and jeers I tolerated
that I am but a fool to dream
glittery dreams
a foolish woman past her prime
yearning for the moon n shine
must be off her rocker...

I tried with my heart and soul
I fought with my will and determination
I tried to explain but to no avail
The jeers turned to knowing smiles
The uninvited guest in my body
making himself comfortable
my mind,body and soul
focused on my daily living
as I rolled on downhill

As I heard the shatter
my eyes blinded by tears
my heart broken, as I picked up
one large piece of my shattered dream
the shard sharp, glittery and broken
As I stared into it

As I wiped my tears away
clearing my vision
I looked, really looked
into it and saw my eyes, my soul looking back
and there I noticed the glimmer
the glimmer of hope, determination
and will power, that I  thought I had lost

fighting  to break through the grey murkiness
of tears and the shadows of defeat
my What the heck...attitude shining away
I stared at it hard and strong till the glimmer
radiated through me
infusing me with renewed hope

Yes I may be down, but far from defeated
Yes I may be down, but far from dejected
Yes I may be down, but far from weak
Yes I may be down, but far from helpless
Yes I may be down, but far from lifeless
Yes I may be down, but far from visionless

So I decide as I look down at the fragments
I may be down but definitely not out
There are things I need to do
There are things I want to do

As I look up to the
big dude high up there
beyond the blue yonder

I  tell him
Dude you better give me the strength
'cos I ain't giving up
I am going at it
what I don't know
but will follow the dictates of my heart
and rely on u to show me the way
cos ain't that part of your job anyway?

So I gather  the pieces and glue
them on the board of my life
making a pretty pattern, adding some glitter
some bling, building iit into a beautiful mosaic
of my renewed dreams

Yup I dream on as always
'cos if u do not have a dream
u are not really alive:)))

Break Free:)


I want to beak free
Free from all that chains
me to the past
encumbering me

I want to break free
and soar like a bird
up above all the
pain and disillusionment
that I see
being inflicted on humans
by humans


I want to break free
from the
gossamer web of
emotions and emotional
entanglements

I want to break free
of all the maze of lies
that people spin
snaring one in it's
confusing plots

I want to break free
of human frailties
that I have...
an emotional doormat
that I am
I let everyone wipe their feet
on me

I want to break free
of the the guilt
swamping me
drowning me in despair

I want to break free
and fly to the highest peak
to the highest zenith
to look down and
see where I can help
make a difference

Yes I want to break free:)