desire, lust, excitement, nervousness, frustration etc. etc. etc. all come under the seemingly innocuous word "Emotions".
Emotions govern our lives. It motivates us, depresses us, makes us impulsive and in many ways defines us as a person. I think people who can control their emotions live better lives than someone like me who is an emotional doormat.
Hmmmm so who exactly is an emotional doormat (I coined the phrase btw) Well someone who thinks with her heart, not head, someone who naively still believes in the fact, that people are what they say they are, no hidden agendas because after all why would one make life more complicated than it already is? Someone who genuinely cares about people, is empathetic and yup sensitive. Yeah, yeah that is me and now you know why I am confused and bewildered.
I feel like I am an anamoly, I am positive, extrovert, generally happy, motivated, yet sensitive, extremely emotional, get hurt easily, impulsive oh well...
Emotions - We need to b able to control it and not let it control us. Profound, huh:)
Monday, March 30, 2009
Friday, March 13, 2009
Parenthood??
Hmmm parenthood as in being a parent as in being a mom or dad as in my case being a mom.....
Wonder who coined the word or how they came about it. A quick googling did not provide any answers:(
Yup there are tons of books on impending parenthood, how to be a good parent etc etc etc...... there are so called manuals, there are how to's, where to's etc.
But really is it possible to capture the essence of being a parent, as all of us go through similar emotions but yet it is unique to each person. We all react to any given situation differently. Some of us are excited, some nervous, some petrified, some daunted, some scared, some jubilant, some sad yes and yes very very overwhelming.
I still remember the thudding of my heart, my dry mouth, feeling faint, feeling nervous and excited as I waited for the sign that would say that yes I am on the way to be a mom. I could hear my hubby's pacing outside the bathroom waiting as the clock ticked on its own merry way oblivious to the significance, and finally it was time to see what the home pregnancy test would say both of us peering at the tube that would change our world totally:) And this time it finally said yes you are on the way to a journey, a journey that is so life changing that unless and until you actually go through it one cannot comprehend the enormous avalanche of feelings, emotions, thoughts, fear.
The thought of being responsible for another tiny little person when you yourself have still look up to your parents for advice is daunting to say the least. The firt time it is scary. I remember going to Lamaze class when I was eight months pregnant n when they showed us the video of the delivery I was in panic mode, felt trapped. Luckily the feeling subsided. Had a looooonnng labor n then a C section to boot:)
Will never ever forget the beautiful sound of his wail, as my hubby n me our hands clasped tightly tears of joy n a goofy grin on our face looked on in amazement n awe at this wiggly little person who ccame out of my tummy n was a complete person in himself.
As he was bundled up and put on my chest, my feelings were a jumble of emotions looking at this tiny little bundle that would forever change our lives. No words can adequately describe the intensity the fierceness no way.
Wonder who coined the word or how they came about it. A quick googling did not provide any answers:(
Yup there are tons of books on impending parenthood, how to be a good parent etc etc etc...... there are so called manuals, there are how to's, where to's etc.
But really is it possible to capture the essence of being a parent, as all of us go through similar emotions but yet it is unique to each person. We all react to any given situation differently. Some of us are excited, some nervous, some petrified, some daunted, some scared, some jubilant, some sad yes and yes very very overwhelming.
I still remember the thudding of my heart, my dry mouth, feeling faint, feeling nervous and excited as I waited for the sign that would say that yes I am on the way to be a mom. I could hear my hubby's pacing outside the bathroom waiting as the clock ticked on its own merry way oblivious to the significance, and finally it was time to see what the home pregnancy test would say both of us peering at the tube that would change our world totally:) And this time it finally said yes you are on the way to a journey, a journey that is so life changing that unless and until you actually go through it one cannot comprehend the enormous avalanche of feelings, emotions, thoughts, fear.
The thought of being responsible for another tiny little person when you yourself have still look up to your parents for advice is daunting to say the least. The firt time it is scary. I remember going to Lamaze class when I was eight months pregnant n when they showed us the video of the delivery I was in panic mode, felt trapped. Luckily the feeling subsided. Had a looooonnng labor n then a C section to boot:)
Will never ever forget the beautiful sound of his wail, as my hubby n me our hands clasped tightly tears of joy n a goofy grin on our face looked on in amazement n awe at this wiggly little person who ccame out of my tummy n was a complete person in himself.
As he was bundled up and put on my chest, my feelings were a jumble of emotions looking at this tiny little bundle that would forever change our lives. No words can adequately describe the intensity the fierceness no way.
Monday, January 26, 2009
Inside my mind
Inside Me
Welcome to my mind where
There reigns confusion, chaos, uncertainty
Where frustration is paramount and helplessness is the norm
Do you see the swirling mists of guilt interlaced
With tears of anger , angst and desperation and
Oh yes the ugly monster FEAR
Do you see my mind swirling with vibrant colors
The colors of hope, dreams
Do you see the sun shining through the beautiful suncatcher
Do you see the beautiful yarns I have weaved
With the fragile threads of hope, wishes
Do you see the beautiful world I am trying to create
Do you see the shattered glass
Beautiful multicolored shards piercing my very soul
Do you see the tattered yarns of hope withering away in your scorn
Do you see the tears
Do you hear my heart wailing’
Why Me???
Welcome to my mind where
There reigns confusion, chaos, uncertainty
Where frustration is paramount and helplessness is the norm
Do you see the swirling mists of guilt interlaced
With tears of anger , angst and desperation and
Oh yes the ugly monster FEAR
Do you see my mind swirling with vibrant colors
The colors of hope, dreams
Do you see the sun shining through the beautiful suncatcher
Do you see the beautiful yarns I have weaved
With the fragile threads of hope, wishes
Do you see the beautiful world I am trying to create
Do you see the shattered glass
Beautiful multicolored shards piercing my very soul
Do you see the tattered yarns of hope withering away in your scorn
Do you see the tears
Do you hear my heart wailing’
Why Me???
Thursday, January 1, 2009
Great Expectations!
Expectations - great or small propel a lot of our actions. Rarely is an action taken without expecting something at the end of it. One gives with, yes, the expectation, of receiving something at the end of it. When one does not receive what one expects it strains the relationship, it mars our outlook,makes us resentful.....
Is it possible to give without expecting something in return? I think once a person stops expecting anything, that person can find contentment. Mmmmm... but I was expecting ... Ah hah there you are. I did this because I was expecting that you would......
It seems we spend our lives living upto others expectation of us or rather what we perceive as their expectation of us. No wonder we are messed up - because dont you think it is but impossible to meet everyone's expectation? I for one will first try to live upto my expectations and then......
Is it possible to give without expecting something in return? I think once a person stops expecting anything, that person can find contentment. Mmmmm... but I was expecting ... Ah hah there you are. I did this because I was expecting that you would......
It seems we spend our lives living upto others expectation of us or rather what we perceive as their expectation of us. No wonder we are messed up - because dont you think it is but impossible to meet everyone's expectation? I for one will first try to live upto my expectations and then......
Monday, December 1, 2008
Terror attacks in India n elsewhere in the world....
A lot is being written, lots of anger, feeling of helplessness, bewilderment, angst, questions, rage at the unfairness of it all. The innocent lives lost, being at the wrong place at the wrong time, questions - difficult questions asked by our li;l ones - but why?The biggest irony of ot all is it is all in the name of God, in the name of religion - the same God/religion that talks about, being good, kind n tolerant? Am i the only one seeing the disconnect?What would killing people get, but more anger, more anguish, more media, more families devastated by the unfairness of it all?Does it really help any cause at all? I am confused.... Dont we have enough issues to deal with already?
Monday, September 29, 2008
life and such...
Well Well I never thought I would be so philosophical, but I guess certain happenings make you reflective and I guess that is what happened to me :)I am not a grim person to begin with. I have been told I am a child in an adults body:) I just know I look at life differently. I am the one who will put a positive spin on anything, have a wicked sense of humor and yup look at the glass half full. No I am not going to list all my virtues - there is not enough tiime and words :) Kidding!What I am thinking about is the correlation between mental peace and emotional strength and physical manifestations of the same. If you are mentally and emotionally at peace would that automatically manifest itself into robust health? And vice versa? Anyone has experiences please share....Does a weakened mental state also mean health issues? Life is complicated enough... why do we strive to further complicate it by our attitude, our actions, our thoughts and yes our words?Point to ponder upon..... I would love to hear from you if you have found peace and contentment and be ready to share ur secret:)You can also reach me at sutapa@creatvproductions.com
Saturday, September 20, 2008
Words!
Words Words Words ---- What a discovery! Words written or spoken have so much of power, it is incredible. It can make or break, create unrest, find love, express something beautiful, ugly, used to express yourself. These seemingly innocuous formation of alphabets is amazing.
There are literally billions of words around us, we are surrounded by them, we are defined by them, they are so powerful they have the power to cut through flesh and pierce your heart, they have the power to go through your skull and float around in your head sometimes taking on a whole new meaning. Words can be flowery and beautiful, ornery and hateful, kind and hurtful, simple and complicated, profound and shallow……
We seemingly effortlessly spew off most of the times without thinking of the repercussions or the effect it has on the other party. We seem to feel good after venting not fully realizing the effect they have on others.
They are also helpful, in expressing our innermost feelings, fear, guilt, joy, happiness, beauty, rage, hurt, and so many other nuances of our lives….
I think they need to be used with care. I am guilty of being careless with them, cruel and hurtful, and yes also kind and have also been the recipient of the same…. It is human nature to retain the hurtful and cruel words and forget about the kind ones.
And yes words also help to clear the air, clear up misunderstandings etc….
They have an incredible power over us, our lives, relationships etc……
And the purpose of my diatribe - well to utilize words!
There are literally billions of words around us, we are surrounded by them, we are defined by them, they are so powerful they have the power to cut through flesh and pierce your heart, they have the power to go through your skull and float around in your head sometimes taking on a whole new meaning. Words can be flowery and beautiful, ornery and hateful, kind and hurtful, simple and complicated, profound and shallow……
We seemingly effortlessly spew off most of the times without thinking of the repercussions or the effect it has on the other party. We seem to feel good after venting not fully realizing the effect they have on others.
They are also helpful, in expressing our innermost feelings, fear, guilt, joy, happiness, beauty, rage, hurt, and so many other nuances of our lives….
I think they need to be used with care. I am guilty of being careless with them, cruel and hurtful, and yes also kind and have also been the recipient of the same…. It is human nature to retain the hurtful and cruel words and forget about the kind ones.
And yes words also help to clear the air, clear up misunderstandings etc….
They have an incredible power over us, our lives, relationships etc……
And the purpose of my diatribe - well to utilize words!
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