What is Love?

This is a poem I had written in 1990:)

Is it pure ecstasy
Or is it sheer hell?
Or is it the feeling of inevitability
As you get introduced to him....
Is it the constriction of the chest,
the parched throat, the rapid tattoo of teh ehart
Or is it the feeling of helplessness
As your eyes meet eyes, passing silent messages
the urge to touch, feel and experience
the feeling of being lost, being drowned
drawn inexorably closer to the depths
Is it the reason for sleepless nights
yearning dreams and restless days
Or is it the feeling, the desire to share
a lifetime in eternity with?
Or is it the reason for the world suddenly being a
wonderfulplace to live in, the glow on your face
that comes from the very depths
Is this love???

Love? What is it?

Hmm interestingly, till a friend pointed it out to me, I did not realise that I did not write on the biggest emotion of all LOVE!!!

So that set me thinking and here I am penning my thots as they stumble into my mind, random and heartfelt...

Love.... reams and reams have been written on it, music composed, poetry written, wars fought, songs sung, merchandising .... actually it wud not be too far off the cuff to say as far as emotions are concerned...Love leads the way...

When we think of love the first thought that our mind conjures up is warmth, tenderness, that special person in our lives, the heart thumping, hands sweating, mouth drying kind of feeling....the wistful yearning, the longingness to connect, the meshing of mind body and soul....the perfect harmony between your thoughts, that transcend into the physical realm....which finally culminates in your soul merging into one breath, one thought, one being....

It is the feeling that brings smiles to your heart, joy in your soul, and sheer ecstasy to your thoughts...It is like having someone who understands you without you even voicing your thoughts, the tenderness genuine and heartfelt, comfortable sharing your innermost thoughts, being able to connect without thinking of consequences, being sure that you are loved for what you are and not what you shud be....

There are so many other types of love that is platonic, as in a mothers love, which is universal, kids, friends and other people who come in and out of your lives...or maybe even with a materail thing, thought process or anything that moves you strongly enough...

Love is a feeling that comes from your heart, the very essence of your soul, a feeling that is intense, emotional and all encompassing...which makes you look at the world in a different light:)

Knock Knock...that is ur inner child....

Let your inner child out....Let the fun loving part of you that you  buried so deep down, that you do not even know that it exists...that one...

We let our inhibitions, fear of ridicule, or the fact that we might look silly stop us from enjoying the litle nuances of life...

When was the last time you giggled or rolled over the floor laughing?
When was the last time you danced in the rain, oblivious of getting wet?
When was the last time, you puddle jumped?
When was the last time, you sang at the top of your lungs even if u are terribly off key?
When was the last time, you put some music on and danced with gay abandon?
When was the last time, you joined your kids in whatever sports they were playing?
When was the last time, you acted silly, just because?
When was the last time, you really really sat down and savored your coffee?
When was the last time, you skipped down the street instead of walking?
When was the last time, you licked an icecream cone and did not mind messing ur shirt?
When was the last time, you skimmed a stone on a pond?
When was the last time, you jumped u and down in glee?
When was the last time, you noticed the beautiful flowers along the path u take everyday?
When was the last time, you screamed loudly at the rollercoaster?
When was the last time????

Can go on and on.....something about these simple pleasures that we forget as we grow older 'cos we are under the misconception that it is not right to enjoy and savor the little but imp things in life....

You know what tell them to go fly a kite (lol) that is fun toooo:)

Seriously folks life is short, unpredictable enjoy, let your inner child out and have a blast and if u do find somebody looking at you with disdain, pull that person in too and show them what they are missing:)

It is within you, really it is!

We trod along life's path blithely unaware of the potholes, puddles or speedbumps ahead. When we have the innocence of our childhood, we are empowered by our sense of wonder, lack of fear, and unsatiable curiousity to discover what is new...

Then comes the brashness of youth, the cocky arrogance, the feeling of being invincible, reckless and brimming over with confidence...Ah what fun:) As and when life progresses and responsibilities get added, we all learn the process of growing up:) It can be a painful, eye opening experience, especially if u have been sheltered and shielded.

I always wonder, how does one get the ability to cope with life's bumps and deal with it? Some people crumble, some stumble, some fumble and then there are people who go from strength to strength using each bump in life as a learning process and using them as stepping stones to their life...

You know, it is, relatively easy to sit and pontificate, to offer platitudes, to commiserate, but only the person who is actually  the one that hit the speedbump is responsible to pick themselves up and go on with their lives, that is if they are able to do so...

We are all different and have our own ways of dealing with curveballs...some give in easily, some fight for a while and then give up, some keep on going in eternal optimism....

I always wonder what makes one different from the other, why does it seem that some people seem to have drawn the lottery of speed bumps and some have the golden touch?

Emotions... we all have our own way of coping...have our own wish list...as I read somewhere, it is not things that keep u happy in life...then what is it? Does robust health make one happy, or abundant wealth? Material things or emotional happiness, contentment or greediness.

It is human nature to want more...which is absolutely fine as long as we know that there is a line beyond which if u go, then the  only way to go is downhill...

What makes a person happy and contented? I think it is on how you look at life...half full or half empty, rose colored glasses or dark glasses, empty and meaningless or full and meaningfull...

Try this exercise and see if it helps...This is how I deal with my speed bumps....If you are going through a bad patch or feel that there is n point in going forward with life, take a step back, and think that there are worse things that could have happened...try not to focus on the negative but try and find something positive in your situation...believe me if u look hard enuf u will find it....Life is a gift given to u, it is up to u how you use it..So make optimum use, derive maximum pleasure, live life like there is no tomorrow, throw away negative vibes and surround yourself with love and happiness:)

Rain Rain...come again

Pitter Patter Pitter Patter
as the drops hit the window
nature's own musical orchestra
as you hear the patter of the drops
the soft gush of water flowing
the gurgle as it flows down the pipes
the hiss as it hits the grounds

then as u take a deep breath
the loamy aroma as the water
soaks the ground assails your nostrils
the heady and invigorating smell
as the first drops hit the parched ground
the fresh clean smell tickles your nostrils
inundating your mind and soul
refreshing, rejuvenating, reviving

As you watch the rain coming
down in sheets
mother nature's way of cleansing the debris
nourishing the living plants
as they open their petals
welcoming the cleansing nectar

As I watch the rain coming down
I sit by the window feeling
the refreshing pricks of the drops
Enticing me to throw open the door
as i step into the rain
my face upturned to the skies
as i feel the water trickling down my face
cleansing and washing away
all my pain and despair
leaving me refreshed, revived n renewed...

R.A.K

Random Acts of Kindness

A phrase I believe in and live by....an act that not only makes the other person happy but put a spring in ur step, a smile in your heart and you know what the biggest kicker is? This does not cost you anything! No money, not even a lot of hard work...amazing thing isn't it?

Then I wonder why many people do not follow it? Seriously try it out.... simple actions that bring about profound reactions.....

Hold the door open for someone coming in or out even if u may have to wait for a few secs and even if that person does not need it.... of course if it is someone who needs help even better, but do it without expecting anything...often times I hold the door for someone who just walks away without acknowledging...and sometimes i get a heartfelt smile... that is the way it is:)

The point is you do something for someone without expecting anything in return... then if u do get it in return, makes u feel good and if u do not then move on..

Compliment someone, a friend, a stranger , anyone .... the unexpectedness of the compliment is sure to put a smile...on the flip side if u do not have anything nice to say...better to move on:P

Smile, just because:)))) It is a great exercise u know....

Connect with friends, just to say how imp they are to u... to let them know u are thinking of them.

Hug someone or acknowledge the person who does a great job helping you, eventhough that is their job, if someone is pleasant to you, acknowledge it. If you are nice to the other person, the other person will also try to be nice.

Commiserating, being polite, being firm and polite will only reflect well on you.

You know when people tell me I am genuine, caring, honest, straightforward... I am bewildered... isn't everybody?:) I have been told that "no" not everyone is:)

I guess, no wonder I am mostly in am emotional turmoil...I expect everyone to be like me, lol...

Being positive, upbeat, looking at glass half full, looking through rose colored glasses are not cliches for me, they are a way of life for me....

I believe every person has redeeming qualities, that we are all here to fulfill a purpose in the grand scheme of the thing called life....it does not need to be big, huge or life changing....but little acts that we do in our everyday life stitch together a mosaic of events that can create a comforting blanket of goodwill and surround u with love.

So do not ever say, I do not have a talent, a goal, a dream, or I cannot make a difference...We all can in our own little ways, in our own little world which when merges with all the other little worlds out there can create beauty, kindness, smiles and yes a wonderful world:)

Wishful thinking? You tell me? I do not think so.... So come my friend hold my hand, share a smile, give the gift of laughter, and u will be giggling soon....Really:)

Random Acts of Kindness ... try it maybe one act a day... till it becomes a habit a way of life, remember kindness begets kindness:)

Yes, you can

I am a nobody who wants to be a somebody so I can make a difference in everybody... but nobody wants to give me a chance to be a somebody so I can make a difference in everybody....

It all began at least I think so in May of 2004 when at the age of 36 I was diagnosed with Parkinson's...Faced with a diagnosis of a chronic condition, which while thankfully was not fatal was still uncertain and terrifying. As I sat in the chair listening to the diagnosis feeling like I was adrift, denial springing to the surface …. not me I still want to do so many more things, my babies only 2 yrs and 5 years then... what am I to do?

The fear, the helplessness, the guilt, the utter terror simmering away inside as I continued to try and live my life as normally as I can...thinking if I ignore it it will go away, denial at its peak, trying to deal with the mental and emotional and physical changes the disease was doing to my body and trying to deal with the multitude of side effects the medications were having on me, while still trying to do everything I was doing before trying to be everything and pretending that everything was fine and I could handle it.....

I stoically continued, falsely trying to placate myself that everything is fine, and in the meantime faced with an uncertain future there arose in me this selfish desire to fulfill my dreams …. half formed, things I wanted to do when the kids were a little older, suddenly realizing that time is limited and that I had to do something sooner rather than later.... this fear of becoming a vegetable, confined to a wheelchair, not being able to move or talk looming in my mind as I tried desperately to choose what to do, be a wife, a mom, or a selfish person and try and do something worthwhile with my life while I can...

No one understood the frantic desperation, the searing guilt, the utter desolation as I battled my inner demons....the almost impossible task of being there for my family, trying to do something with my life and dealing with something as complicated as Parkinson's..

Now as I write this in 2010 6 years later it has been a hell of a ride, an emotional roller coaster, an emotional hell hole a period of justifying why I want to do what I want to do, of being branded as an extremely selfish person I continue my lonely crusade as I cannot explain to anyone this burning innate desire I have to connect with people to tell everyone that there is lot of good one can do, of positive attitude and not let negative emotions get us down...

All this time not realizing that I myself was dealing with a lot of negative energy around me, being told what can a person who is past her prime, and shaking with tremors can do to change the world.... who am I but a nobody, why will people listen to me, what the heck do I have to say that is so important?

I do not know the answers to those questions, I just know I have this strong desire and the utter conviction to connect to do what I can in whatever way I can to connect....

That is when I discovered the power of the internet. As I sat in my chair pounding away at the keys, pouring my heart out, my anguish my hope my dreams in the written words, as I created a blog where I put my heart out there and uploaded it leaving it open and vulnerable, as I researched and found people connected to them but no one understood my desperation, the feeling of my life's energy seeping away like sand through my fist, slowly but surely.

This is where I think my famous Taurean stubbornness helped me and maybe my naivety too as I did not give up, as I battled the ups and downs of Parkinson's as I fought the skepticism of my useless wasting of time writing blogs … who the heck is going to read them anyway?....but I doggedly continued some inner force in me giving me the strength and courage to get up each morning, stumble to my computer as I continued to reach out, frustrated as they did not see my point, but the thought of giving up never arose in my mind....

Then I started my own video blog on YouTube. The beauty of technology that gave me the power to sit in front of my computer record what I want to say on my web cam and upload it to the world... and I did every single of my 50 videos up there as of now a labor of love, determination, will power, done without spending any money, just a lot of shakes, tremors, determination.

I am a geek, love technology, gadgets, spent my hours finding and learning, creating, writing, researching and uploading it all to the big world wide web...... my heart, my soul, and slowly I started noticing an interesting thing....

I realized that people actually were reading my blogs, that there were people who were watching my videos that I uploaded, and when they started commenting to how something I had written made sense I remember sitting in my chair with tears streaming down my eyes, disbelief as I read the words that someone out there understood what I wanted to say, someone out there who appreciated my effort it was an indescribable feeling. I then realized that in my own small little way I was making a difference, as I grew and learn something with every blog I wrote as I shared my lessons learn with my videos that I did all by myself, as I learned the technology realizing there is so much one can do by themselves, I realized that if I had not taken the first step, if I did not believe in what I want to do it would have been a shame...

Now two years after I started, without spending anything on marketing, just by using the free resources available to me I can say with pride that my videos have been watched all over the world with a very rough estimate 40,000 times, my blogs have been read by more than 35,000 people worldwide ….

I may still be a nobody and may not be able to reach everybody but hopefully will help somebody, even if that somebody is just me:)

http://www.youtube.com/user/creatvproductions#

http://sukas-myworld.blogspot.com/